Why I don't teach 4 year olds to "Raise Your Hand"

Is raising your hand a DAP way to teach respect?

A few months ago a colleague asked me why I don't expect our preschoolers (age 3-5) to learn to raise their hand during group gatherings. I explained that I want our gatherings to be authentic joyful groups for sharing story, song, and conversation. I said that I've noticed that when teachers focus on strict "raise your hand" protocol the conversation is diminished.  The focus of gathering tends to become about training children in hand raising. When children are trained in this way, the dynamic of give and take seems to be primarily a ping pong between a child and a teacher, and a teacher and a child, rather than an authentic circle of conversation between peers. I've noticed it also turns into copy cat responses from children. They sit there waving their hand, not paying attention, but primarily worried about their weary arm - and then when they are called upon they don't know what to say. 

Large group conversations with preschoolers are not easy - it takes practice, but it can become a beautiful flow of give and take and listening between peers when teachers have intentionally listened to children, modeled wait time, and coached children in this process of thinking and listening and responding to one another in a caring community.  Smaller group conversations can happen at the beginning of the year as a way to practice - at snack time and lunch time, and of course, during play time. Intentional practices can be put in place such as using phrases like, "It looks like we need to move on now, but I am writing your words down here on this sticky note so we can return to this conversation" or, "I see there are many children who have ideas bursting out - lets listen to Evan then Hazel and then Samu next. There is a lot of excitement in the air and I really want to hear everyone's voice." Co-teachers and assistant teachers can support the group and act as scribes, and teaching teams can decide on how best to record children's ideas, and then how to return to these ideas to let the conversation keep layering and growing.  Sign language is good too. A teacher can introduce visual cues that become part of the conversation culture such as using signs for key words like  - "Let's 'stop' and 'wait' and 'think' together.  When the excitement of the group bubbles over to the point nearing chaos - I never feel it is time to squelch the enthusiasm, but rather to find ways to pause, to harness the enlivened interests, and give everyone voice. Some teachers have said that introducing something to hold, like a talking stick, can help too.

In a classrooms where teachers are listening more than talking, taking children's ideas seriously, and making space for children's voices, children's conversation skills grow. Much of this skillful teaching happens in the larger gatherings with artful eye contact, body language, anticipatory facial expressions, and hands placed on backs or hands held for the children who are extra impulsive and always want to talk. The teacher holds the intention to lift everyone's voice and to honor listening. Teachers become attuned to what each student needs to be able to participate, and through this modeling, children get the deepest lessons in conversation, internal control, and perspective taking. The really good conversations seem to center emotionally charged situations for the 4 and 5 year olds who are developing their sense of justice and perspective taking. These conversations are never fill-in-the-blank-right-or-wrong answer kinds of dialogues.  

For early childhood gatherings, I believe our best programs are built on a model of child development rather than a model of schoolification that holds the goal of training kids to stand in lines or raise their hands.  I have heard others say that teaching children to stand in lines and raise their hands are central ways that children learn to take turns and respect others, but I have never found these traditional school management techniques to  be ways that respect what it means to be a young child engaged in a culture of caring.  What do you think?