I felt intense grief and disbelief when I first put on a mask to go grocery shopping this summer after stay at home orders were lifted. It was so strange to muzzle my mouth and my smile. Surprisingly, as I stepped back into my routine of Saturday morning grocery shopping it didn't take long to noticed how happy I was to see my favorite checker, David. In all my years of shopping at Hannaford's, we had never talked beyond shallow pleasantries, but now we found ourselves chatting like old friends - the masks didn't break our connection, rather it forced us to connect with our conversation and by what felt like our hearts. While my groceries rolled by me on the conveyor belt, I learned that David has 5 siblings, he is a favorite uncle for a big crew of nieces and nephews, he is saving all his money to buy a new lap top, and he is planning to go back to college next year to study design. As I pushed my cart through the parking lot, back to my car and pulled my mask down for a breath of fresh air, I instantly knew I would be okay. I felt connected. I knew we would find a way to teach and care even with masks on.
We spent a good deal of time worrying about the effects of mask wearing on young children this summer as we prepared to reopen. In NY State at the preschool program I lead, all the adults are required to wear masks at all times. Sometimes we've experimented with clear masks and face shields and at times these alternatives are especially helpful (such as during story time when we really want the children to see our expressions) but mostly, given that we are working at least 8 hours a day, we have just adapted in a matter-of-fact-way to putting on a mask to go to work. We seek the most comfortable mask we can find, give each other masks breaks, and change our masks a couple of times during the day to freshen up.
What's amazing is how well the children have adapted. Not only have they adapted, but they are teaching us about their own innate social-emotional intelligence. My friend Shelley who is also teaching preschool with a mask on says that sometimes she plays a game where she pulls down her masks to reveal her funny exaggerated emotion and kids laugh and say "Yep- I knew your face would look happy (or surprised or sad). She explained that kids seem to tune into her and check in to see emotional state even more than she had previously realized. Children are always watching our eyes - our gaze holds incredible power to convey care and love and respect. Children also tune into our tone of voice, our gestures, our body language, our stance. These are all the subtle ways we communicate with children and with one another. Wearing a mask forces us to strengthen our expressive art of caring.
As I've been wearing a mask this fall, I've been thinking about care as the first literacy of life. It is through our touch and our gaze during care rituals - feeding, rocking, holding, dressings - through the first human caring exchange, that our children listen to our unspoken messages and connect through the language of our care. I believe this language is not only conveyed through what is seen (through the gaze) and what is felt (through the hands and body) but also through what is sensed (through the heart). Howard Gardener teaches us about children's inter and intra-personal intelligences. He describes how children have heightened abilities to sense and intuit their way through social interactions and how they hold awareness of self and other. Howard Gardener even went on to describe another kind of intelligence - one he calls existential intelligence which involves the child's ability to go beyond what is seen and heard. Yes, we know what he is talking about because when we care for young children we go beyond what is seen and heard - we experience this existential intelligence regularly. As I marvel at the children, I ask not how we as humans learn empathy, awareness, and connection but how is it that we lose these things?
We spent a good deal of time worrying about the effects of mask wearing on young children this summer as we prepared to reopen. In NY State at the preschool program I lead, all the adults are required to wear masks at all times. Sometimes we've experimented with clear masks and face shields and at times these alternatives are especially helpful (such as during story time when we really want the children to see our expressions) but mostly, given that we are working at least 8 hours a day, we have just adapted in a matter-of-fact-way to putting on a mask to go to work. We seek the most comfortable mask we can find, give each other masks breaks, and change our masks a couple of times during the day to freshen up.
What's amazing is how well the children have adapted. Not only have they adapted, but they are teaching us about their own innate social-emotional intelligence. My friend Shelley who is also teaching preschool with a mask on says that sometimes she plays a game where she pulls down her masks to reveal her funny exaggerated emotion and kids laugh and say "Yep- I knew your face would look happy (or surprised or sad). She explained that kids seem to tune into her and check in to see emotional state even more than she had previously realized. Children are always watching our eyes - our gaze holds incredible power to convey care and love and respect. Children also tune into our tone of voice, our gestures, our body language, our stance. These are all the subtle ways we communicate with children and with one another. Wearing a mask forces us to strengthen our expressive art of caring.
As I've been wearing a mask this fall, I've been thinking about care as the first literacy of life. It is through our touch and our gaze during care rituals - feeding, rocking, holding, dressings - through the first human caring exchange, that our children listen to our unspoken messages and connect through the language of our care. I believe this language is not only conveyed through what is seen (through the gaze) and what is felt (through the hands and body) but also through what is sensed (through the heart). Howard Gardener teaches us about children's inter and intra-personal intelligences. He describes how children have heightened abilities to sense and intuit their way through social interactions and how they hold awareness of self and other. Howard Gardener even went on to describe another kind of intelligence - one he calls existential intelligence which involves the child's ability to go beyond what is seen and heard. Yes, we know what he is talking about because when we care for young children we go beyond what is seen and heard - we experience this existential intelligence regularly. As I marvel at the children, I ask not how we as humans learn empathy, awareness, and connection but how is it that we lose these things?
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